Play the Game
by Princess Leyla
Summary: Cyborg and Beast Boy start a Pick-Up Line Battle. Who will win? Rated T because stuff- and yes, I do realize that is not a valid reason. Pairing: RobRae
1. Chapter 1

**HEEEY! NEW FIC!**

 **Disclaimer: I secretly own Teen Titans. I am also queen of the underground dust bunny kingdom and blackmarket.**

It was a day like any other in Jump City.

That is, chaotic.

The Teen Titans were battling one super-sleazy Adonis, who was trying to steal booze when he'd been impolitely interrupted. Every time Starfire or Raven damaged his suit, he yelled degrading pick-up lines, which eventually became more and more... Well, degrading.

"The human body has 206 bones in it. Do you want another one in you?" Adonis called out to Raven. She seethed, and lashed out with her powers. The darkness overwhelmed him, and the towering robot body toppled, the casing cracking everywhere. It completely fell off, leaving a skinny, pale 20-some-year-old. Adonis was unconscious for a minute, and when he was conscious, he couldn't move. Robin pulled electrified handcuffs out of his handy Robin-belt (he was still experimenting with names). The cops arrived to haul Adonis away.

"...And I would've gotten away, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!" Adonis yelled from the truck. It sped away, leaving the Titans in the wreckage.

"So, anyone up for pizza?"

* * *

When the Titans finished their typical after-battle-pizzas, they returned to the tower.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were going at it on the GameStation.

"Hey, we haven't seen Titans East or some honorary Titans for a while. We should invite 'em over sometime." Beast Boy chatted with Cyborg. "We should totally have a party! With, like, booze and stuff!"

Inspiration struck Cyborg. "I think you're on to something! We could have, like, a kick-ass party, and not _ANY_ party, man! Dude, we could totally have, like, a pick-up line battle!" Beast Boy brightened immediately at the possibility of practicing hitting on girls without being screeched at.

"Yo, that's a bitching idea! We could totally invite, like, Titans West, and, like, Red X and Kitten to see Robin's face! Ooh! And we could, like, totally get Kid Flash and Jinx down here! This has been your best idea yet, Cyborg!" BB replied, the excitement picking up in the room.

Cyborg beamed."And we could totally, like, pitch Robin against Kitten! And Red X against Rae! Ooh, this is gonna be so GOOD!" The pair were now completely disregarding the video game- or at least, BB and the human half of Cyborg- and jumping up and down.

"I'mma go make some calls!" BB squealed.

"And I'll go draw up a chart for the competitors! And BOOYAH! I just handed your ASS to you!"

"Oh, no, you didn't, you big cheater! Double or nothing!" Beast Boy replied, slightly confused as to the meaning of the term he'd just used. The pair finished a second round before they went to start making arrangements for their brain-child.

* * *

Starfire was currently holding make-up and a stretchy, sparkly foot of fabric that looked like a 'scarf'.

"You want me to do WHAT?! Trigon's balls! Why would you EVER come to me to ask me to do that?!" Raven yelled at Starfire. Starfire teared up, and Raven sighed and put her hand on Starfire's shoulder to calm her down. "I'm sorry, Star, it's just... I can't wear that. It goes against my ethics."

"But... I thought that you wanted to be the be-YOU-ty-full for Friend Robin. Is that not what females that are also teenagers are clothed in when their beloved is with them? Or is it males that are also teenagers that wear this? Is that why you can not be clothed in this wonderful attire?" Starfire responded, slightly confused about the Earthen cultural affairs she had watched on the TEE-VEE.

"Let me explain something to you, Starfire. Only a... certain _TYPE_ of earthen girl-or boy- wears these... _'clothes'._ And Robin isn't my 'beloved'. It's just some temporary teenaged crush. You got that? By the way, _what have you been watching?_ " Raven replied. Starfire just gave her an evil smile and she floated away. Raven was truly afraid for anyone that came in her way.

A few minutes later, Beast Boy screamed and ran by the living room with the 'clothes' and makeup on.

Then again, maybe she didn't feel so bad.

 **I feel accomplished! Longest chapter in one sitting! Hell yeah!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own it. Yes, that is why I write fanfictions for it.**

"So you can come? Good, good. By the way... Do you by any chance know X's number? No? Okay, just asking. No, I'm not becoming a Sith lord. C'mon, Wally, I am NOT the Terminator! Ok, I'm hanging up on you, whether you're done making stupid references or not. Buh-bye." Cyborg sighed. He was high on adrenaline when he agreed to join Gar in the plotting of the battle. Of course, it was up to little ol' Cyborg to make all of the plans while BB drunk his ass off.

"Yo Cy! You done yet?" BB called from his perch on the bathroom sink. He was currently trying to get over the painful hangover he had drunk his way into while Cyborg was fixing everything up.

Cyborg just grumbled and flipped BB off. BB just approached the table that Cy was sitting at. "Well _EXCUSE_ me, Mr. Pissy. Someone must be on their period!" Cyborg just waved him off, trying to figure out what Red X's email would be. Beast Boy complied, just to find himself retching over the toilet again.

Cyborg just sighed again and started emailing the Titans and invitees the time and date for the battle.

* * *

 _Well, Friend Raven is very much of the pretty... She must wear very short clothing to attract Robin's attention... Also must be very much of the 'lacy'..._

Starfire was playing matchmaker for the two recluses of the Tower.

 _The shower could quite possibly run out of cloths to dry... The door could become unlocked..._ "Yes! That is it! They shall meet in the bathroom!" Starfire exclaimed out loud. This merited a glance from Silkie, proving that she was quite possibly mad.

"I must call Boyfriend Red Star to tell him about my enlightening plan! Oh yes, oh yes! This shall work!"

Starfire picked up the phone, then mashed a few numbers in. She then proceeded to call the wrong number 857 times until she reached Red Star's number. "Boyfriend Red Star! I have made the most EFFECTIVE plan to bring together Friend Robin and Friend Raven! This shall be good!" She talked on and on about multiple subjects, no discluding mustard or Silkie, until she was out of breath.

"I wish you farewell, Boyfriend Red Star!" She then hung up the phone and turned to Silkie with an evil grin. Starfire rubbed her hands together quite evilly and laughed.

"They shall not see what has clobbered them, dearest!" She hugged Silkie, laughing maniacally.

 _This shall be entertaining..._

* * *

 _Mama, just killed a man_

 _Put a gun against his head,_

 _Pulled the trigger, now he's dead..._

Listening to Mercury's voice confessing to murder was oddly therapeutic. Raven was surfing the web, reading articles about an assortment of things. The device pinged, meaning that she had received an email.

Raven checked her email inbox, just to find an invitation to a party.

 _Ugh... more stupid fanboys found my email... I need to change it soon..._

And then she looked at the sender info and face palmed.

 _Should've known better._

 _Stupid BB._

* * *

 _He stared into my eyes, and I saw how light his eyes were,_ _lighter than I'd ever seen them, golden butterscotch..._

There was a knock at Robin's door, and quickly he hid Twilight under his covers. The door slid open and Raven burst in.

"Did you know tha- Is that- Uh..." She eyed the dog-eared copy of Twilight poorly hidden under her leader's covers.

"Yes? Robin prompted.

"Uhh... Party... BB... East... Never mind. I gotta go!" In her state of shock, Raven slammed into the doorframe and, then, clutching her head with one hand, slammed into the wall. She cursed under her breath and ran into several more walls.

Robin just shrugged and wondered about what Raven was going to tell him. After a few seconds of pondering, he came to the conclusion that BB had invited Titans East over for a party. He then promptly pulled out Twilight, and started to read.

 _Now... Where was I? Oh yes..._

* * *

 ** _Twilight_ belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Bohemian Rhapsody belongs to Queen.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Back to this.**

 **I do own it, by the way. I also own the word 'react' (SUCK IT, FINEBROS!).**

The day began with Titans East arriving at the Tower.

Five minutes later, the alarms were blaring and the Tower underwent a level 4 lockdown. The lights blew out, then turned back on.

"Hey, you two. Cut it out."

"Oh, you're so MUSCULAR! Just like Robbie-poo!"

"Don't you DARE compare me to that-"

"Ohh BABY, we can-"

"SHUT-"

"Ew, what is that? Robbi-"

"I am NOT ROBIN-"

The doors leading to the living room slid open. The Teen Titans walked out, a spectrum of emotions across their faces. Robin just turned to Beast Boy and massaged his temples.

"Beast Boy, why are Titans East, Kid Flash, Jinx, Red X, and Kitten here? Is this your idea of a joke?" Beast Boy just whimpered and crawled behind Cyborg, who looked exasperated.

"No, man, it's his idea of _hilarious._ Honestly, I'm not real sure why I ended up helping him. Well, too late now." Cyborg just shrugged and started setting up a long table.

* * *

A few minutes later, when everybody was situated, Beast Boy clambered on top of the table. "RULES! Rules, rules, rules... Oh YEAH! That's right, yo, there are none!"

Raven just looked at him with a mixture of disdain, disgust, and annoyance. "Well, what do you expect us to do? What is the whole point of this in the first place, anyways?" Beast Boy rubbed his arm and flushed. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"Uh... N-Yeah. "

Cyborg decided that he would save Beast Boy from the wrath of Raven, even if he didn't especially want to. "A pick-up line battle. That's why you're all here."

Everybody just groaned, with the exception of Beast Boy, who brightened. "Oh, yeah! That's right! And also, if you try to leave, you WILL get stuck in Raven's mind mirror." Raven face-palmed. So _that's_ where her mirror was.

"Please promise me that you'll give it back to me at the end."

"Oh, I WILL, Mama. I don't want that _thing_ in my closet for any loner than it has to be. "

Red-X rubbed his hands together and laughed evilly, bringing the attention to him. "C'mon, let's start!"

* * *

"So, the first pairing to go is... Drumroll, please... Raven versus ME!" Beast Boy grinned, and a beer (that mysteriously appeared in his clutches) sloshed all over his clothes.

On the couch, Jinx was sitting on Kid Flash's lap, and they were having a full on make-out session. Robin would tell them to get a room if he could, but they were all entrapped until the battle was won. Next to the couple sat Red-X, and Kitten was sandwiched between X and Robin. Speedy was making a move on Starfire, and Aqualad just stared off into the distance. Raven got up begrudgingly to fight BB to the death.

They sat at opposite ends of the table. "Now, remember, kids, no repeats, and keep it in your pants. Not that there'll be any IT to KEEP." Cyborg winked at Raven, who smirked. "Round One begins in three...two...one... Go!"

Raven cracked her knuckles while BB shivered. This wouldn't take long.

* * *

"I should sue you because you've stolen my heart."

"Uh... If you were a booger, I'd pick you first!"

"Are you the Doctor? Because I want to be your companion."

"Uh... What? What is that fr-"

"BEEP! BB, you have been DISQUALIFIED! Nice job, by the way, Rae. I didn't know you had it in you." Raven just shrugged and sat on the floor.

Cyborg pulled out a whiteboard with a bracket drawn on it and crossed out Beast Boy's name and wrote in Raven's on the next line. He put it down on the table.

"And now, the second pairing..."


	4. Chapter 4

"And the second pairing is... Starfire versus Aqualad!"

Starfire stood up nervously. "I already have a friend that is also a boy that partakes in romantic rituals with me!" BB just made slashing motions and shook his head, then made more motions. Aqualad was already standing at one side of the table, ready to begin. When the nervous girl reached the table, Cyborg stepped up to the longer side of the table.

"Well, start whenever you'd like." He shrugged and pulled out a chair to sit down on. Aqualad shook his hands out, while Starfire wrung her wrists.

"I'll start. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got F-I-N-E written _all_ over you, girl."

"I am not a donor of the humanoid organs, but you may take my heart!"

"I'm writing an essay on the finer things in life. Care to be interviewed?"

"Do you participate in the belief of love at first seeing, or should I walk in front of you again?"

"Do you have a raisin? How about a date?"

"Erm... Blorthnag! I have seemingly and conveniently forgotten my line! I must do the forfeit!" The girl . Everybody in the room clearly saw the excuse (excepting BB, who just chortled).

"Ha, HA! Aqualad WINS, Star!" BB held out a hand to Aqualad, who just pushed the unwelcome body part away.

"Uh, thanks but no thanks, BB." He just turned around and sat back down on the bench.

"Oh, well. His loss! Robin and Bumble Bee, you're up!"

xXx

Robin groaned and stood up, putting his well-loved book down. Meanwhile, Bumble Bee just glanced at Aqualad and then Cyborg, and nodded once. Her acting skills were about to be put to the test.

The two Titans approached the table.

Bumble Bee started. "Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call _'fine print_ '!" Robin groaned and shook his head while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"If that's the way we're playing it..." he muttered,"Fine. There's something wrong with my phone. Your number isn't in it."

"I wish I had a parachute, 'cause I'm falling BAD for you!"

"My friend over there really wants your number so they know where to reach me in the morning."

"If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine!"

"You'll probably be asked to leave soon, because you're making all of the other women look bad."

"Uh... Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm looking for."

"You must be a keyboard because you're just my type."

"Ok... Uh... Forfeit! I forfeit." Bee wiped away some imaginary sweat and almost started to skip back. When she got there, she whispered,"It's working. It's WORKING!" to Aqualad, who just nodded.

"Looks like you won, Robin. Nice. The next pairing is Kitten and Red X."

 **Oh dear. I am quite sick. I am excited to write the next chapter (because it's Kitten and X! What's not to like?).**

 **Also, if you have any really good pick-up lines, they would be appreciated.**


End file.
